'I got the joyjoyjoy down in my heart!'

I am stricken with joy, overwhelmed by anticipation so deep it's a flavour on my tongue, a taste at the back of my throat, welling over and over till my sinuses burn with sheer and utter delight in life.  Yes I am aware that the sentence above is a prime example of how not to use a comma but I DO NOT CARE MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Why you ask? Whywhywhy?  Because I am happy.  For the first time in a really long time I'm catching glimpses of the gleeful creature I was born to be.  I no longer burn bright and uncomplicated - my colours have thickened, deepened.  I am searing light and blood red depth, tears and laughter like rich, viscous honey-drip.  I am grown and my joy has changed but I've found it again - I can see it and touch again.  Thank you God for this blessing, for this feeling.  I am so grateful to finally be saying goodbye to numbness. And now for the BOOTY DANCE OF GLEEEEEE!!!!

Wanderlust

Are other people every just violently struck by the urge to go - to keep moving till their too exhausted to move another limb.  I want to scour every inch of this planet - I want to see EVERYTHING!! Now I just need bank rolling of some kind. Hmmmm...

These images are from a shoot I did for the Black Accountants Association 25th Anniversary.  I met a lot of amazing people  - people who clawed their way to success and then did not forget their roots.  It was an experience that I have to say strengthened my faith in our ability as individuals to make an actual difference.

The Wedding

I love the internet. It makes my world feel limitless.  I've learnt so much and met so many amazing people and ja...I just love the net :D  I've been debating how I'm going to go forward on this blog.  It was born to promote Fierce Fotography as a business but I'm finding more and more that the only way I can really share about my creativity and work is if i make it as personal as possible - so I won't be holding back.  I'll be sharing a great deal more here - it won't get as traumatising as my LJ lol! but it'll get pretty close.

Inspiration comes in the oddest form.  I spent a very large part of my early teen years utterly obsessed with Joseph Gordon Levitt from 3rd Rock from the Sun.  Then I watched Mysterious Skin and then the Lookout and 500 Days of Summer and then Inception.  The boy is back!! And all I can say is DAMN!! What an amazing talent - the energy, the creativity, the sheer love he has for life.  So I did some reading and found this place: http://hitrecord.org/reel.  If you are a creative person interested in sharing your work, sharing ideas and just finding a new way of working and creating and loving your art this is the place for you.  Go check it out!!

And now for some Fierce Pics! *gleeeeeeeeeee*

These images are from my very first wedding shoot in Lusikisiki in the Eastern Cape.  It was glorious - like stepping back a century in time.  It was also icy cold, no running water, and pit latrines.  Deep man.  But glorious. Hope you enjoy the images as much as I did taking them.

Spirit Day

October 20th - wear purple to rememeber the lives and spirits of the boys who killed themselves because they were bullied for being gay. In South Africa I know of many gay men and women who have been harrassed, beaten, raped and murdered because of their sexuality. In my ...heart on the 20th I will be holding all of the people who have been so deeply hurt by intolerance, ignorance and hatred. I hope you'll join me.

http://neo-prodigy.livejournal.com/866100.html

Reposted from LJ:

"On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.


RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)

RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)

RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)


REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace."

The Logo is Born!!! :D

I wanted simplicity and opulence  - this for me is absolutely that.  My next step is to change it into a variety of colours for a variety of backgrounds.  Ugh.  The pure glee that I'm experiencing right now!

Ch-ch-ch-Changes!!

Life is becoming intensly exciting very quickly *booty dance of glee!!*  I want to go back to school.  There's so much I still want to learn and so, so much I still want to do that requires a get a great deal more schooling.  I'm going to be trying for my masters in gender studies - madly applying for scholarships as we speak, as well as further photography and photoshop classes; my sewing lessons begin very soon; having a meeting with a designer about the Fierce logo this coming weekend *squee*; and my pole dancing lessons have become a highlight of my week just because they help detangle all the ugly knots I manage to tie myself into all the time.

July was a crazy month.  I've been working on an intense project - the results of which I'll share once its been done.  I turned 28!  This year I didn't have a panic attack about it - it was a good and easy change - one that filled me with peace.  I spent it with the folks - thank God for them - gossiping and napping and eating cake.  It was very good.  I was reading a journal I've had since 2007 where I plan my life essentially.  I was reading back and I saw my 2007 plan LOL!  My main goals were : get a car, buy a camera, finish the Fierce business plan, start the Decadence business plan and loose my virginity!! ahahahaha!! I'm happy to say I achieved all but one of those goals...Decadence is still in its infancy.  Can't wait for that to take off as I am so passionate about the changes I believe it will make to South African women

In October I begin the Fierce Fatties project.  I'm breathless with excitement for this one and the results are going to be amazing.  Taking pictures of fat women is the entire reason I got into photography.  Now I'm finally going to get to take pictures of lots of them!!  Weird little note - had a dream last night  - a rabbit told me i was destined to become a matchmaker.  It was intensely clear and won't leave me alone right now LOOOOL!! I can't even get myself hooked up, how am I supposed to help other people!!

Below some highlights from the World Cup - the biggest party to hit SA's shores in FOREVER!  I had such a blast - I miss Phillip sooo much *sigh*

A Different Kind of Christian Demonstration at Gay Pride | TimSchraeder.com

A Different Kind of Christian Demonstration at Gay Pride TimSchraeder.com

This story just made me cry. Warmth just swelled wide right inside of me and filled me to the brim. This is true Christianity. This is the real meaning of Jesus Christ's teachings to us.

Winter Light

I loved the results of this shoot soooo much.  Rita is an amazingly talented model - the pictures speak for themselves :)   On another note the World Cup has been a crazy, intense blast.  I haven't had this much fun in a long, long while.  Phillip really is here! ;)

The Breath before the Plunge

I am very good at leeching the joy out of my own life LOL! I get obsessive and competitive and I worry and worry and worry and eventually, the things I love, are no longer fun.  I've managed to make myself ill - my eczema is as bad as it was in late 2006 and I need to fix and to fix it I need to sort out the emotional tangle that keeps tying me up in knots.  So yes  - a deep, deep breath before the plunge into joy.

Anais Nin

We've found a place to live - pics to follow soon as we're in! Yay! I can't wait till its home.

 I've just made a discovery - Anais Nin  - *heart melts*  I adore her.  But this quote particularly is just so stirring, churns me right up inside, because its the reflection of every dark thought I've had about my own womanhood just brought to very startling life.  I love it.

“I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, f**ked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.” ~ Anais Nin

Bloodlust

2010 - YOU ARE SO FIRED!!!! The opening months of this year have been exhausting.  We were robbed on the 17th of Jan.  The thief came through a window and robbed me blind while I lay sleeping.  I sleep like the dead LOL! and then we were robbed again on February the 17th.  I was so panic striken we moved.  I could'nt bear the thought of sleeping in that flat for another day.  Now we're looking for a new place to live and all I feel is overwhelming exhaustion. 

Needless to say my creative energy has been ...shattered.  I'm now in the process of gathering myself towards myself - I hope it will get better.   I know it will.

I present to you Blood Lust.  I thoroughly enjoyed this shoot - hope you enjoy the results :)